Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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