I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I will be naked everywhere
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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