Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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