Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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