PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
