she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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