I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
