I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
