so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Bring me that man meat
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
