I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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