why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
