Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
