Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
