Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
