so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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