i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
