im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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