If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
