I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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