I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize