filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
