so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
