This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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