some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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