I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
