theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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