Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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