people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
