i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
