I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
