I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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