before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
