it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
