brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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