I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
