69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
