Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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