Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize