Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
