How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the day after is always just damage control
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
