the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
