Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have aggressive nipples.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
