Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
