This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
