I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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