Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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