Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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