Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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