I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
