3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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