(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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