Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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