I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
