do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
