Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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