i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
