And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize