i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
