How'd it feel making her break her religion?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
