Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
