Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
