Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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