On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
