I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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